Snoop drops lit’ like it’s hot

Snoop's fondness for Cardiff City and visits to Cardiff Castle won him his new appointment

GANGSTA rapper Snoop Dogg has been appointed Wales’ first ever young people’s laureate as part of a campaign to increase literacy levels among the nation’s yoof.

The ‘Payin’ for Pussy’ star has been appointed amid increasing concerns the popularity of social media and computer games among young people is having a damaging effect on the  reading and writing skills of the ignorant little shits. 

Snoop, who is also known as Snoop Doggy Dogg and the Dogfather, said he was confident his ability to combine sex, drugs, crime and violence with rhyming would prove popular with young people in Wales, who he acknowledged as sharing similar interests.

“It’s a bit daunting but obviously I think it’s a very important task,” said Snoop about his new role, which will inspire creative writing as well as reading.

“I will be OK though, so long as my homey Dr Dre can come through with a gang of Tanqueray and a fat ass J, of some bubonic chronic that made me choke.

“Tanqueray and chronic, yeah I’m fucked up now. But it ain’t no stoppin, I’m still poppin’. Dre got some bitches from the city of Canton to serve me, not with a cherry on top cause when I bust my nut, I’m raisin up off the cot. Don’t get upset girl, that’s just how it goes, I don’t love you hoes.”

Snoop, who is from Los Angeles and won a 2004 Adult Video Award for his top selling 2003 tape, ‘Snoop Dogg’s Hustlaz: Diary of a Pimp’, became an afficiando of the Welsh capital in the run up to his recent concert at the city’s international arena, where he wore a Welsh rugby jersey.

Snoop admitted he’s gained a deeper understanding of Welsh culture: ““We are a country with a strong heritage of casual violence, recreational drug abuse and sexism and I think it’s really important that children’s books are seen to be a part of that. Having the Big Boss Dogg as a figurehead is a really good way of getting the message across to young people that just ain’t cool. Young heads should also know, though it’s made me a millionaire it’s unlikely to do the same for them. No dizzout ”

Snoop’s appointment was officially announced during an event in Cardiff attended by Charlotte Church.

The singer, who has two young children, said that reading during her own childhood helped spark her creativity. “As a mother myself I genuinely believe it’s really important to involve young people in literature as early in life as possible and I fuckin’ loves Snoop.

“Snoopy, ooh-wee, you so fly. Can I give you a little piece of the pie? Shake it, bake this thing for me cause you just flow so viciously. Soopa-Duper, you so fly,” she added.

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About welshnewsnot

We like the news, we like the news from Wales, we like having a laugh - surely the news isn't meant to be taken seriously, is it?
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