Tourism tactic is a LONG way off the mark

'Crouches' - a new form of measurement

‘CLEVER’ Swansea Council chiefs appear to have made a BIG mistake in their choice of celebrity to help promote the city.

For decades advertising bigwigs worldwide have carefully selected the prettiest and most well respected stars to promote destinations around the globe.

Pamela Anderson and Arnold Schwarzenegger have both plugged California, Elle ‘The Body’ Macpherson lent her weight to campaigns supporting Australian tourism, while the world’s fastest man Usain Bolt has featured in TV adverts for his native Jamaica.

So it’s come as something of a surprise to learn bungling Swansea Council chiefs had decided ENGLAND and STOKE CITY striker Peter Crouch was the perfect man to help promote Swansea Bay.

The lanky, visually obtrusive front man, who has somehow managed to bag Scouse beauty Abbey Clancy, is spearheading an advertising campaign for the Bay ahead of Stoke City’s visit to the Liberty Stadium on Sunday, October 2.

Tourism website Visit Swansea Bay has created a Crouch-o-Meter which makes light hearted comparisons between the freakishly tall forward and local landmarks such as the Meridian Centre.

The campaign even contrasts Crouch to Swansea City’s own vertically challenged winger, thief and Snow White and the Seven Dwarves star Nathan Dyer.

Local news sources are calling the Crouch-o-Meter an ‘online phenomenon’, but in reality it is merely an opportunity for journalists to make lazy puns about Crouch’s stature.

Steve Hopkins, Swansea Council’s Tourism Manager, tried to explain: “We’re always looking at new and innovative ways to raise the profile of Swansea Bay as a destination and the success of having the Swans in the Premier League has given us a tremendous platform.

“Peter Crouch is one of the most recognisable faces in a league watched by hundreds of millions of people across the world but his defining characteristic is his height.

“This is why we thought it’d be a fun idea to generate a Crouch-o-Metre on our official destination website and compare his height with both local and global landmarks.

“It really seems to have captured people’s imaginations and it’s a fun way of introducing many people to Swansea Bay as a destination for the first time.”

Longtime Jack fan Myfanwy Evans said: “He’s not very dishy is he?! He’s proper gangly and a bit of a freak.

“Carlos Tevez was used to advertise Manchester, and although he’s also really ugly, at least he played for Man City.

“I’d rather they’d used a local lad like Joe Allen. He’s proper lush and he could fit in your handbag too.

“Crouchy could come in handy swinging a torch around his head if the Mumbles lighthouse ever broke down though.”


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