Ugly truth revealed

Repairs of broken mirrors and camera lenses are higher in Wales than anywhere else in the world

WALES is refusing to accept it is possibly the ugliest nation in the world, despite evidence suggesting otherwise.

The roots of the Ugly Tree have been traced all the way back to Port Talbot this week, after global dating website ranked Welsh men and women among the least attractive people on the planet.

Only 11 per cent of male and 12 per cent of female singletons from Wales were accepted onto the ‘exclusive’ site, which has five million members.

The Welsh media have hit back at the claims, putting their heads together to form a list of four people among the country’s three million inhabitants who are easy on the eye.

Further salt has been added to the wound with news that even England and Scotland, who boast beauties such as picturesque politician Ann Widdecombe and sexy singer Susan Boyle respectively, have scored better in the aesthetics league.

Deluded beauty and relationship experts are ignoring the statistics.

Paula Abbandonato, orgainser of the Miss Wales competition, said the Welsh were ‘gorgeous’ and didn’t need dating websites.

“It’s all about the 80 per cent you do with the 20 per cent you have got. It’s only about the 20 per cent you’re born with and the rest is making the best with the hand that you have been dealt.

“Either that or get plastic surgery.”

Naomi Roberts, director of a South Wales romance academy, conceded there were other several attributes Wales had to offer in light of being so downright unattractive.

“I have travelled around the place quite a bit and Welsh people are definitely renowned for their friendly hospitality and kindness. They are also great fun and fun-loving – and bursting with an amazing culture which is to die for.”

Myfanwy Evans, of Swansea, added: “I’m not having that! We’ll find these beautiful people and bash their faces in so they’re as ugly as us.”

A spokeswoman for said the Welsh people may have been further disadvantaging themselves when applying to the site by including pictures of themselves grouped with their equally visually-offensive Welsh friends.

She said: “All I’ve done all day is take calls off Welsh people saying ‘What about Richard Burton? What about Catherine Douglas? That opera singer and her fella?’

“That’s four people. For every one of those there’s nearly a million Iwan Robertses, Craig Bellamys, Rhodri Morgans or Keith Allens.

“Now please stop wasting my time and get off the phone. There may be beautiful people trying to get through.”

It’s not the first time Wales has been beaten with the ugly stick.

Back in 1998 smug writer AA Gill labelled Welsh people as ‘dark, ugly, pugnacious little trolls’ in his article for The Sunday Times, while ‘Elephant Man’ Joseph Merrick often cited Wales as the place where he felt ‘accepted and most at home’.

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About welshnewsnot

We like the news, we like the news from Wales, we like having a laugh - surely the news isn't meant to be taken seriously, is it?
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2 Responses to Ugly truth revealed

  1. Royston Jones says:

    But do they mean ugly drunk or ugly sober? This is important because it can make a difference. You’ve only got to be down Wind Street at 8 o’clock and then see the same people at 4am on the Kingsway to realise this.

  2. I know a lot of attractive Welsh people, maybe the attractive people of Wales don’t need to go on a dating website to find a date?

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