Council complimented on its penis

This sculpture has aroused some female interest

A COUNCIL is hoping it could pull off a tourism coup after unveiling a statue of a giant penis.

The dragon egg statue has been erected in the grounds of Newcastle Emlyn Castle in memory of Isaac Carter who  in 1718 established the first printing press in Wales.

Carter, who moved to Newcastle Emlyn from Shrewsbury a year earlier, is known to have boasted about the size of his manhood, which he would refer to as the ‘Dragon’.

The council has long been committed to commemorating Carter but feared with computers and other high tec devices having replaced printed newspapers and e-readers such as Kindle having made books redundant, there would be too few people bothered to pay their respects to an innovator of such outdated technology.

However the council hopes by recognising Carter’s other attributes the sculpture could still inject some new life into the town, and make it a mecca for hen parties and other groups widely associated as having a childish obsession with the male organ of copulation.

It’s also hoped Isaac Carter’s ‘dragon’ could attract the ‘pink pound’ – essentially UK sterling, only spent by gay people .

Councillors were told at their June meeting the sculpture is already attracting positive comments.

One impressed resident, identified only as a Ms E Davies, even emailed her thoughts to the town clerk, who reading from the email at the meeting, said: “The problem with so much modern art, and public sculptures these days, are the artist feels they have to be ‘abstract’ and the blasted thing never looks like what it’s meant to represent, but this looks like a giant phallus.”

Ms Davies also raised concerns that the penis could fall into the wrong hands and said she wouldn’t want to see algae allowed to develop.

“Who will clean it? Will it withstand vandalism?

“We could end up with a site littered with the broken remains of artwork that was intended to beautify it. People are not so keen to clean stuff up as they are to put it up,” she added.

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4 Responses to Council complimented on its penis

  1. Some people need to grow up. Bananas -ooh! Cucumbers – haha! Baguettes – saucy! Smooth sculptures – cheeky!

    Anyone who see a penis in everything probably dreams of zeppelins and trains going into tunnels. They need to get a life or perhaps more attention from the opposite sex to remind themselves of how different a 10ft sculpture is from a real penis.

    I think the sculpture is fantastic and if it reminds me of anything, it is of how, even our small town in west Wales, human creativeness occasionally rears it’s beautiful head, despite the childish response of some local narrow minded dicks.

  2. Dyfrig says:

    Following what he described as “totally irresponsible” reporting by the Welsh gutter press, believed to be a reference to Welshnewsnot, a spokesman for Dyfed Powys Police said that the local constabulary and fire brigade had been called out to deal with a major incident in Newcastle Emlyn last night as hundreds of people descended on the castle grounds to see the newly installed penis sculpture.
    It began peacefully enough with a visit by two local men, Llyr ap Dafydd and his friend Sioni Rees, who said they were thinking about holding their civil partnership ceremony there. “It’s a beautiful place, and after we heard about this, we decided to take a break from shearing the sheep and come down. The giant penis really gives it a nice feel, isn’t it.” Shortly after they arrived, two coach loads of Vodka Red Bull fuelled women from Cardigan turned up as part of a hen night.
    Next on the scene was a delegation from the town’s Sodom and Gomorrah Chapel, led by the minister, the Rev. Tomos Tomos. “We are here to pray for salvation and deliverance from the fleshpots of Babylon”, boomed Rev Tomos through his portable public address system.
    “Time and again I have warned the council about what would happen. What with its lap dancing, pole vaulting, gay bars and sinful nightclubs, Cardigan is a sewer of vice, and now they are all coming over here. And Llandysul, or Llandismal as they call it, is not much better.”
    Before he could continue his sermon, a further group representing the Pentrecagal Women’s Beeskip Weaving and Coven Collective arrived on the scene to stage a ceremony in honour of the union of Mother Earth and the Great Penis of Emlyn.
    The police spokesman explained that at this point, matters had got out of hand. “A pitched battle broke out between the congregation of Sodom and Gomorrah, the English hippy women, the sheep shearers and the slags from Cardigan. The fire brigade had to be called to rescue several people who had been trying to mount the sculpture.”
    Another spokesman for Dyfed Powys Police said that the first spokesperson had now been sent off for Diversity Training.
    Surveying the scene of the battle later, Councillor Dai Stiff, said the castle grounds were littered with discarded underwear, Red Bull cans and religious pamphlets. “I am shocked”, he said. “I came along here only the other day with the wife and she had never seen anything like it. I had to drag her away. Turned into one of them zombies she did.”

  3. Radox the Green says:

    complemented?

  4. Marc Gordon says:

    I think it is great to have this Dragon Story chair in such a prominent location at Newcastle Emlyn castle, and from talking to people looking at the chair, is becoming quite a tourist attraction. This sculpture and the wonderful new Golden Dragon gates, that the town council have put at the entrance to the castle, have stemmed from the ‘Heart of the Dragon’ Wales festival which will be held for the third time on Saturday 2nd July starting at 10.00. The festival is calling for all Dragons,Dragon keepers and Dragon lovers to come to Newcastle Emlyn and join in the festival on Saturday (for details see the Heart of the Dragon website and facebook). This event had over a 1000 visitors last time and hopes to have more this year as there will also be a Green Fayre and music tent.
    As with all art (and any event or promotion) there will always be people who will criticise and it is a shame that these people are often unwilling to do anything positve to support or participate in their community, but will put a huge amount of effort into critisism or fighting those who are trying to make a difference.
    So come along on Saturday and make your own judgement.

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